I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize