Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Randomize
