is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
My liver is preforming stress tests.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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