Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
