Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
