Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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