Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
