Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
