I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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