hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Alive.
So much puke
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
