bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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