Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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