What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
