I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
