I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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