yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
