who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
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