I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
