I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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