Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
