whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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