your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize