Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
send nudes
from the living room?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
