i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
