I haven't been this sober since birth.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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