Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
