the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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