OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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