Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
