I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
