do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Randomize
