found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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