Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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