Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
