Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
