i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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