so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
