Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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