Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
