me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
