Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
