I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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