These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
