I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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