What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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