I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
