I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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