Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
