It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
