I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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