Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Randomize