This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Life is so much better after having sex.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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