Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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