I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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