Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
