I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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