Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
its liver damage thursday
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
