my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
