just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Randomize
