If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
i've created a new STD.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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