dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
