You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
