On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
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