I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
