barbara walters just said penis...
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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