How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
meet me or not, i'm out of control
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
