well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
