Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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