I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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