i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
