fuck your aforementioned shoe
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
