Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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