just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
