found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
